Birthday Blahs (originally posted Aug 16th, 2024)

I recently passed my birthday, Aug 11th for those curious, and I had the same thoughts I always seem to. Its genuinely sort of frustrating not feeling much during a birthday. I’ve never put much thought into mine, if everyone forgot it, I might just enjoy being left alone all day, but then maybe that would get lonely after a while, who knows. I appreciate that people care, I really do, and gifts never hurt, but I never feel any different during or after. Its a strange feeling since I do get excited about other holidays like Halloween, and Christmas (even though I don’t practice any religion). Maybe its the mutuality of it all those other holidays, I know others are feeling the same as me, or maybe its the feeling of celebrating myself that I don’t like for my own birthdays. Who knows. I wouldn’t categorize what I feel as the “Birthday Blues” I never feel sad or depressed, I just get this feeling in my stomach, almost like before you give a presentation. Its a genuinely strange feeling, not happy, not sad, not disappointed, not excited. The best name I can think of is the “Birthday Blahs” a strange feeling somewhere in the middle of it all. I can’t be the only one who feels this way right? Even if I am is that so bad? Who knows. Just wanted to get this feeling out there, perhaps talking, or I suppose writing, my feelings out will be good.